Forgiveness

If you sense there is unforgiveness in your heart toward someone, pray this prayer:

"Father, I have been hurt and wounded by (name the person).  While they were wrong in their sinful actions towards me, I have been wrong in my response toward them by holding it against them.  Your word says that Jesus was wounded for our transgression, and by His stripes we are healed,  I acknowledge and hand to you the emotions this offense has caused me (name the emotions).  Please take from me any pain I have been holding onto regarding them and their offense toward me.  I do not want to carry it anymore. I confess the sin of judging them and their specific offenses against me.  Forgive me for any anger and hatred I have had in my heart against them.  Through your power, I forgive them, because you have forgiven me.  Help me to be free, in Jesus' name.

Amen!" (It is helpful to pray a blessing over the person to help realign your heart.)

If you have truly asked God to forgive you and have already repented of your sin but you cannot forgive yourself, pray this prayer:

"Father, I know I am special.  You created me and you love me.  I thank you for the spirit, soul, and body that you gave me.  I accept them as a gift from you, God, and repent over all the wrong attitudes I have toward myself.  I unconditionally forgive every person who has thought, said, or done things to me that have made me want to reject myself.  Father, I forgive myself for

(name the sin you committed), knowing that you have forgiven me. I choose to accept your forgiveness as payment in full for my sin and I will not hold myself in debt for my sin any longer.  I dedicate my life afresh to the one who made me, and I rejoice in your goodness, In Jesus' name. Amen!"

• Forgiveness is not waiting for "time to heal all wounds."  It is clear that time does not have the power to heal wounds.
• Forgiveness is not letting the guilty "off the hook."  It is moving the guilty from your hook to God's hook.
• Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation.  It takes repentance on the part of the offender and a willingness on the part of the offended for reconciliation.  Forgiveness happens individually.
• Forgiveness is not circumventing God's justice.  It is allowing God to execute His justice in His time and in His way.
• Forgiveness is not based on what is fair.  It was not "fair" to Jesus to hang on the cross for our sin, but He did so.
• Forgiveness is not being a weak martyr.  It is being strong enough to be Christlike.
• Forgiveness is not stuffing your anger.  It is resolving your anger by releasing the offense to God.
• Forgiveness is not a natural response.  It is a supernatural response, empowered by God.
• Forgiveness is not denying the hurt.  It is is feeling the hurt and releasing it into Jesus's hands.
• Forgiveness is not conditional.  It is unconditional, a mandate from God to everyone.
• Forgiveness is not forgetting.  It is necessary to remember before you can forgive.
• Forgiveness is not a feeling.  It is a choice and an act of the will.

HUNT, J. (2008).  Biblical Counseling Keys on Forgiveness: The Freedom to Let Go (pp.3-4).  Dallas, TX:  Hope For The Heart.